4Parents Still Faulty

We'll start with the good news: The government website www.4parents.gov, which advises parents how to talk to their kids about sex, has made some much-needed changes. The website, which debuted in March, is an abstinence-heavy collection of "talking points" for parents to use in discussing sex with their teenage children. Numerous health and advocacy groups protested the site, which included phrases like "alternative lifestyle" when referring to homosexuality and encouraged parents of gay teens to consult "a therapist who shares [their] values."

Now, thanks to the noise made by Human Rights Campaign and other groups, the word "alternative" has been replaced by "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender lifestyle." The phrase about consulting a therapist was replaced by the more innocuous "counselors and other health professionals may be helpful to both teens and parents when addressing difficult issues." It's a start, at least, though I still think "lifestyle" is a loaded word. (I've never heard anyone mention my heterosexual "lifestyle," because being heterosexual is still considered the default, while anything else is too often assumed to be a "lifestyle choice.")

But while 4parents.gov may now be slightly more sensitive to the gay community's concerns, it hasn't done nearly enough to remedy the inaccurate and biased information about sex and contraception it's providing. Though the website corrected its most egregious error—it used to state that pregnancy begins at fertilization, rather than implantation—-these gems still remain:

• Condom effectiveness is dependent upon the user's lifetime number of sexual partners
• There are seven steps involved in correctly using a condom (none of which are described on the website, incidentally)
• Finding a "keepsake...such as a ring, necklace, or a pocket stone..." serves as a good "reminder" for teens to avoid sex and preserve their virginity.

While I'm all for teaching abstinence to teenagers, it obviously can't be the only thing we're teaching if the goal is truly to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Teens need accurate information about contraception—including how to use it. And that means that if parents really want to educate their kids, 4parents.gov still isn't the way to go. One good alternative is the teen-focused www.teenwire.com, which provides solid factual information in an interactive package. A more sober, parent-focused site is www.teenpregnancy.org. Both sites emphasize abstinence and contraception.